i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
