she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
