You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
