I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
