I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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