Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
