I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
