Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
