the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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