Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I love you.
Bad choice
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