You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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