I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i will never coherently bang her
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
