I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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