Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
