Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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