is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
