forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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