i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Randomize
