no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
