Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
