You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
