I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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