does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
