How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
