I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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