Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
