He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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