Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
