Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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