but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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