you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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