We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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