i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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