my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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