Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
