I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
