Taylor Swift is so right about you.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
