nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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