people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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