Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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