you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
