you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
