STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
