SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
