There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
