Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Why are your pants in the freezer?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
