i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
