my vag is so smooth its legendary
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
