I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
