Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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