On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i am craving dick and cupcakes
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
